You Stole My Bike Lights--And My Heart - w4m - 20 (Short North Jeni's) | Craigslist

It was Thursday night. I had my bike locked up outside of the Short North Jeni's. I imagine you were tall, handsome, and exceptionally interested in bicycling. You may have had a mole on your left cheek, and dimples that crinkle when you flash that bashful grin. 

Sometime within the duration of my shift, as I provided Splendid and Creamy sustenance to the masses of famished yuppies, my bike caught your eye. You stopped, mesmerized. There was something--something different--about that bike. You couldn't look away. Suddenly, you found your hands upon that bike, caressing its frame. You pumped the pedals. Up, down, up, down. Felt the smooth, worn leather of its seat in your weathered palms. Before you knew it, you had detached the detachable bike lights from its rear. Little did you know, you had also detached a part of your heart. 

Stealing away into the darkness with those stolen lights, your heart thumping against the convexity of your amorously swollen chest, you thought of me. You knew. And you loved with a love that was more than a love. 

If this was you, please respond with the shade of white or beige that you imagine I would look most radiant in upon our wedding day.

[Original Craigslist Post]


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